The Wedding Unknowns
Planning a wedding is (usually) a one time thing. There’s no ‘next time’ or ‘do-overs’, and it’s something that most couples go into blind.
There are a bunch of obvious things that everybody is aware of. You need someone to marry you, you need a place to do it. You’ll probably want something nice to wear, and something to entertain your dancing feet. But there are a lot of things that slip under the radar. Things you need to deal with, that you probably weren’t expecting. Some things that you might not even realise under the day after, when you wish somebody had just told you that before. Well…lucky you’ve found your way here!
Here are just a few of the things that you probably won’t know / expect / realise when you’re planning your wedding. If you’re a been-there-done-that wedding pro, hit me up with anything I’ve missed in the comments.
1. The Cuddle Window
Are you doing your own schedule? Or getting some help from a venue planner? Or a pal who got married last year? Whatever way you’re doing this, it really pays to build some flexibility into your day.
So many schedules read:
14:00 - 14:30 Wedding service
14:30 - 15:00 Family photos
But that NEVER happens. Right after you’re married, every person who’s there wants to come congratulate you and have a cuddle. This is the cuddle window! It’s amazing. You’ll love seeing everyone now the pre-marriage tension has released. You definitely don’t want to be conscious of the minutes passing from your schedule. Built in time to enjoy yourself, to cuddle your parents, your pals, and each other. Embrace the cuddle window (sorry).
2. The Disappearing Time
“Holy shit! How is it already 8pm”
Nearly every wedding. It was me at my own wedding, and I go to a lot of weddings. This is well worn wisdom that you’ve probably heard before, but it bears repeating. The morning will last forever. 2 hours before your kick off time, the second hand will gradually gain speed, stopping only at midnight. It’s a phenomenon that Stephen Hawking was working on explaining before he sadly passed. One true mystery of our time.
If you’re ever feeling like it’s passing you by, take your partner, take a minute to yourselves and enjoy some number 3!
3. The OMG WE’RE MARRIED Time
I think some people, before their wedding, see time spent taking photos as time away from the wedding. It’s always so nice to hear from people about how they enjoyed the time they got to spend together when we were out taking photos.
This is my last one about time, promise, but try to hang out with each other. Be present, without worrying about the day disappearing. It’ll be there when you get back. And those moments with each other will be worth it.
4. (ALL) The Opinions
OK, weddings are great, don’t get me wrong. But they can definitely bring out a side of people you don’t know. Some people will have REALLY strong opinions about how your wedding day should go. Who you should invite. Where you should get married. Where you shouldn’t get married. How many people will be there, what you’ll have for dinner, what colour of toilet paper you’ll have. Honestly, some people get weird!
Some good pals of mine, in the face of many opinions, developed a mantra whenever these situations came up, that guided their decision making: “it’s our fucking wedding”. © GKimD 2016.
This is a tough one, as every person’s situation is unique. One certainty though, is that you won’t please everyone. So, prioritise, and be a little bit selfish. It’s your wedding. If you don’t want peach coloured toilet paper then let nobody tell you otherwise.
5. The Day After Blues
It’s a lot of work. It can be so consuming of your time, energy, money! Then, it’s a hell of a lot of fun. The culmination of all that work. Waking up the next morning and having to go take down fairly lights with a banging hangover (yes, this was me) is rubbish.
Have something fun to do the next day. Small or big, adventurous or not. Just avoid a day wishing you could do it all again. Go a big walk, go for a pub lunch or a filthy breakfast. Hang out with family and laugh at photographs. Our friends were moving to Australia so we ended up out drinking again at their leaving party, after a lovely day laughing at our Bygone Photobooth album. Whatever you do, make the fun (and the hangover?!) last just a little longer.